Tomorrow, celebrate cinematic excellence at The Oscars, but today, celebrate cinematic feculence with our discussion of Whiteout. Meanwhile, Dan gets a strong hook contender, Elliott demonstrates his punning prowess, and Amanda tells the world’s best talking doll story.
0:00 – 0:31 – Introduction and theme
0:31 – 5:00 – We reintroduce guest co-host Amanda Melson, and spend nearly five full minutes reminiscing about the New York comedy scene in a way that’s almost completely alienating to outsiders.
5:01 – 39:12 – You know your movie’s in trouble when even an ice ax-wielding killer and Kate Beckinsale in her underwear can’t generate any excitement
39:13 – 43:10 – Final judgments
43:11 – 48:00 – Flop House Movie Mailbag
48:01 – 53:48 – The sad bastards recommend.
53:49 – 54:52 – Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.
If you don’t want to enter the “GIVE DAN A HOOK” contest, but still want to hear the DVD commentary we did for John Ott’s short horror film, STULL, you can just purchase the thing outright, by going here.
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I didn’t realize the “Give Dan a hook” contest was still going, but since it is, here’s my entry:
Dan’s hook should be hooks. Literal hooks.
Dan can be the guy who has hooks for hands, a la Harold Russell from The Best Years of Our Lives. Think about it: mechanical hooks will win Dan loads of sympathy and possibly even an honorary Oscar. Plus, think of all the sound effect possibilities! Is that a serial killer at the window? Nope, just Dan’s hook scraping along a chalkboard.
Sometimes the best ideas are the most obvious. This is one of those times. Make Dan’s hook hooks.
When is Elliott going to get his best friend, Anne Hathaway, on the show as a guest host? Not that Amanda wasn’t great as a guest. It’s just, if he’s going to continuously namedrop Anne Hathaway, he should back it up.
Anyway, I think the “Sigh Guy” hook wins, just because it gives Elliott so much to work with.
It’s not generally known that Michael Nesmith invented huffing Liquid Paper™.
Why was this not made as a Paul Blart sequel?