We return from our extended Independence Day break with one of our dumbest movies yet, Sucker Punch, which combines the attention span of a toddler with the sophisticated sexuality of a 13-year-old. Meanwhile, Dan reveals some disturbing personal cartoon magazine-related habits, Elliott discovers a new love for felines, and Stuart inspires our readers to raise their voices about his voice.

0:00 – 0:33 – Introduction and theme.
0:34 – 5:28 – Tales of Cobra Commander and Twin Sitters
5:29 – 32:05 – Zach Snyder somehow finds a way to ruin sexy schoolgirls fighting robotic samurais.
33:37 – 35:32 – Final judgments.
35:33 – 50:59 – Flop House Movie Mailbag
51:00 – 58:00 – The sad bastards recommend
58:01 – 58:43 – Goodbyes, theme, and outtakes.

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Wikipedia synopsis of Sucker Punch.

Photo of the live event, courtesy of Superfan Alex Erde.

Cobra Commander costume / photo, courtesy of Mr. Wyatt Cenac