The three peaches spend this episode cloning around about Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones, as part of a podcrawl with Read it and Weep (who took on Episode I) and Proudly Resents (who will be taking on Episode III). Meanwhile, Dan’s space gaydar is misaligned, Elliott explains the proper way to steal a cake, and the greatest secrets of Stuart’s nerdiness are revealed.
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One thing: In the hands of a good writer, the mediclorians thing could be a good idea. The world of the original trilogy is of a fallen society, which is why everything is gritty, and in that world the force is regarded as a superstition. In the elevated, enlightened civilization of the prequels, the world is shiny and new and the force is a science they fully understand.
The problems are that a) he never explores any part of that or its impact, making it a random throwaway line and b) twenty years, the childhood of Luke Skywalker, is not enough time for that to happen. Like, Chewbacca isn’t gonna look at Obi-wan as some weirdo for going on about the force, because he used to know Yoda. Similarly, most of the people in A New Hope used to live in a time when people who used the force were plentiful. Anakin was a random slave kid on a distant planet and he knew all about the reputation of the jedi. Yet the dude on the Death Star is like, “The Force? Pah! That’s not really a thing.”
(in case it doesn’t get through in my other comment)
Absolute dumbest thing: Obi-wan, and therefore the jedi, knows that the troopers are clones of Fett who works for the sith lord leader of the separatists, Dooku. That they trusted them as their troops shows the jedi to be too stupid to live. If only Ackbar was around to point out the most obvious trap ever constructed.
Yoda at the Space Olive Garden was awesome. You guys did manage to find some decent meat off the left over Star Wars bone. Although it’s very dated and poorly acted, Clones is still not my least favorite of the movies (although after a recent re-watch I almost reconsidered). I won’t get into armchair screenwriting on these movies (With the prequels, you can fill entire hospitals with the number of self proclaimed script doctors offering their diagnoses on the internet), but I thought you guys did a great job discussing your disappointment without being smug or snarky. “Good job.”- Obi Wan Kenobi
It was probably unintentional, but regarding midichlorians the Read It And Weep guys made it interesting (while mocking it). They were talking about how midichlorians were tiny bacteria that latch onto blood cells — taking in complex carbohydrates while expelling CO2 and magic force powers. It was a silly digression, but I thought kinda more interesting than what we ultimately got. They even riffed on how midichlorians would reside on inanimate objects likes rocks, causing people to go, “Hey, that’s a nice rock!” Which I think could actually be workable! Like, suddenly people are mentally nudged into believing a rock is a mystical object and venerate it as something to be worshipped, maybe even carving it into a statue or something.
“She governs through core strength” murdered me. Great episode. Thanks peaches.
-Dan
The ultimate way to experience Attack of the Clones is as a dumb 15-year-old girl in a theatre full of equally dumb 15-year-old girls swooning over Hayden Christensen in 2002. Not that I’d know anything about that.
But he’s such a creepy creep!
But creepy creeps like Annakin, Edward Cullen, and Jane Eyre’s Mr. Rochester are the ultimate in teenage girl fantasy! Just like depressing goth chicks and mentally unstable manix pixie gals are the ultimate in teenage boy fantasies.
Bingo!
Creep weird, aloof loner is one thing; disinterested and almost disdainful. Whiny bitch that’s declaring his love within a week of meeting as adults and pleading for sex, on the other hand, is quite another. The fact is, she had better personal chemistry with Anakin in the Phantom Menace than she did in the other two pictures (which doesn’t help the squick factor). She’s either totally into his looks, and completely ignoring everything about who he is, or she was totally into him as a boy, and is completely ignoring who he is now.
Not good, either way.
The least weird interpretation of AotC is that Anakin is so hot that Padme simply doesn’t care that he’s a weird, creepy stalker who murders Tuskan Raider women and children.
It’s either that, or 15 year old Padme was as into 10 year old Anakin as he was into her. Squick!
Or we can go to a really weird interpretation that since Annakin was already on the journey to the Dark Side of the Force, he was unconsciously using Jedi Mind Trick powers to fulfill his own dark fantasies. Like, the reason that Padme forgives him for mass murder is because that’s what he himself wants. It sorta gives a creepy subtext that from the point where Padme says that Annakin is creeping her out forward, she’s not acting 100% on her own free will.
I mean, they sat in a field of flowers together. Swoon central.
I only started to listen to this podcast because of the podcrawl and the mention on Read It and Weep and at first I listened to many back episodes of moneys I liked or hated, and while many times I felt things were just too mean, they were still mostly funny. Then I got to this episode…I mostly listened to it while in the back of a car in Cambodia on vacation and it took all my might to not burst out laughing like a crazy person for large chunks of the episode and despite my efforts the driver and guide still noticed I was losing it over something. This was one of the finest, funniest hours of podcasting I can remember listening to in a long, long, long time. Well done gents!
Paul, you should definitely check out the Flopper’s back catalogue. These guys are always hilarious!