Q: What the hell is this thing?

A: This is a podcast about bad movies. It’s a comedy podcast first and foremost, and a document of our friendship, although we like to think that we occasionally make some salient critical points in-between all the jokes and digressions.

Q: So it’s like MST3K?

A: Sort of. But not really. I mean, if you’re gonna describe it to someone, that’s a good way to do it, in the same way that you could say that Deep Blue Sea is kinda like Jaws, since they both have big sharks. But ours isn’t commentary that you listen to during the film. We’re more like that post-movie discussion you have at the bar, when you’re still angry about the money you shelled out for tickets.

Q: So… the listener has to have seen the movie you’re talking about?

A: Um. We hope not, otherwise that’s a big conceptual flaw. It’s a pretty big leap of faith to assume that you’re all gonna run out and rent Bratz: The Movie just so you can keep up with us. We try to make it accessible whether you’ve seen the movie or not. Think of it as hanging out with a few of your funny friends, while they tell stories. Only the stories didn’t happen to them; they happened to Jessica Alba, and they were kind of lame.

Q: Isn’t it easy just to tear things down? Do you think you’re better than the people who made these movies?

A: We don’t do this just to criticize, and we all have our own creative pursuits. These movies are more like jumping-off point for some funny discussion. We realize that it’s incredibly hard to make a movie, and that many of these people have done great work in the past and will do great work again. We love movies, good or bad — we hope movies work on their own terms, but, if they don’t, we still love cracking jokes about them. We’d probably be doing this exact same thing, even if we weren’t recording it. That said, we are better than most of these people… if by “better” you mean “poorer.”

Q: What’s that godawful noise I hear on the podcast?

A: Which one? Dan clinking the ice in his gin and tonics? Stuart kicking the table repeatedly, because he is clinically unable to keep still? Dan’s cat batting at the microphone wires? The lousy single microphone we used for every episode pre-episode-#12? Sorry. We do get producers in the later episodes, so you should listen to those first. And the really early ones never. We were a little less evolved back then.

Q: Can I suggest a movie?

A: You can try! Honestly, though, we rarely take requests, unless it’s for Smalltember/vember, when it’s less likely the movie is something we’ve already heard of. Otherwise, we tend to follow our muse.