Dan and Elliott jack into the Matrix to hijack someone else’s podcast! The Novelizers takes a beloved film, gives each scene to a TV comedy writer to novelize, and then gives those scenes to a comedian or actor to narrate. Plus interviews with the people who (may or may not have) made the original film. This episode has a chapter WRITTEN BY DAN MCCOY and READ BY JOHN HODGMAN! It also features an improvised interview with some people who “worked on the Matrix” (actually ELLIOTT KALAN and DAN MCCOY PLAYING SILLY CHARACTERS!)

We’re going into the matrix this week, in honor of Dan and Elliott’s contributions to an upcoming episode of the very funny The Novelizers podcast, where comedy writers “novelize” part of a blockbuster movie from the past — Dan wrote a “chapter” of the original The Matrix (read by our friend John Hodgman!), and he and Elliott appear on the episode playing characters who worked behind the scenes on the movie. Look for that soon, but in the meantime, enjoy this flashback discussion of The Matrix: Revolutions, our fourth-favorite Matrix movie.

We finally got our pal Matt Singer, author of the wonderful book Opposable Thumbs: How Siskel & Ebert Changed Movies Forever, on the show to talk about the team who defined movie criticism for a generation. Also Dan leads a silly Siskel & Ebert related half-game.

We were so happy when we learned that Linda Holmes was a fan of the show, and even HAPPIER to get her on an episode! Were we equally happy to watch Baby Geniuses? Well… you know… You can’t always be happy all the time. Once you learn that, then YOU will be the true baby genius.

Inspired by his recent trip with Dan to catch The Ambulance at a local rep screening (part of the Ridiculous/Sublime series programmed by our old friend Cristina) Stuart runs through a brief installment of Missed That Movie ™ before leading a discussion on the works of low-middle-budget maestro Larry Cohen, he of the grabby premise and wild performances. There’s much discussion of trailers to Cohen’s films, so if you wanna watch, check the show notes below!

What is the secret to Argylle?!? Is the CAT the spy? Did Taylor Swift write it?!? Is it the obvious twist that Dan guessed after a moment of thought having only seen the trailer?!? Is it that it doesn’t work at all as a movie, but at least it’s not as relentlessly boring as a lot of Flop House topics?!? It’s definitely at least two of those things!

In honor of Elliott’s long-lost blog critiquing the Oscars, and in honor of the Criterion Channel’s recent “Razzie” collection, and in dishonor of the Razzies themselves, Dan guides the intrepid flop team through past winners of America’s foremost bad movie awards, and why they’re always wrong wrong wrong.

FINALLY after suffering through all of those bad movies, we get a treat! Patrick Swayze’s Ro… what? What’s that we’re hearing? It’s the remake? Goddamn it. Well maybe Road House 2024 will have some charms of its own. I guess y’all will need to listen to find out.