It’s Jason Statham and a giant shark. Whaddaya need, a roadmap? We discuss The Meg. Meanwhile, Dan reveals a surprising science fact about Meg Ryan, Elliott reveals that Swamp Thing is the ideal male body, and Stuart’s feet have a surprising superpower.

This one topped the lists of the worst movies of 2018, and it was so bad Dan barely understood what the fuck was happening, which you can tell, based on how little he can bring himself to say. Luckily, Elliott makes up for it by never shutting up. We discuss Gotti. Meanwhile, Stuart explains what it’s like to play a game with Dan, Elliott starts a new podcast devoted to the human body’s holes, and as always, when it comes to letters, Dan is a consummate professional.

Can the magic of Cagemas overcome the most rote Nicholas Cage vehicle we’ve ever discussed, The Humanity Bureau? Meanwhile, Stuart reminisces about the Cage days of his youth, Dan writes a happy ending for some Foodfight! characters, and Elliott sets down some strict boundaries surrounding his son’s bath time.

We talk about the inexplicably star-studded comedy, The Bigfoot Who Saved Christmas. Excuse us, “Pottersville.” Meanwhile, Stuart brags about his back strength, Dan uncovers the world of Raising Cain conventions, and Elliott goes on his longest (most infuriating?) bit ever.

Why is Bruce Willis starring in an NRA recruitment video? Wait, this is a MOVIE? Are you sure? We talk about Death Wish. Meanwhile, Elliott writes the horror movie “Dr. Sleepypants,” we get insight into Stu’s endless Critters gifs, and Dan shows off his kaleidoscopic character work, during pie talk.

Remember that surprisingly well-defined contest Elliott spearheaded a few episodes back? Well the contest winner decided what we should watch, and it was Interview with the Vampire. Will we fall victim to its bloodsucking charms? Meanwhile, Elliott apologizes to goths, Stuart lists a few Ecks vs. Sever sequels, and Dan disputes the very premise of the movie.

It’s our second SHOCKTOBER episode (not that you’d know it, because Dan keeps forgetting to plug in the fucking Shocktober theme)! This time, we return to the social media horror well, with Friend Request. Meanwhile, Elliott gives a peek behind the curtain of Teddy Ruxpin fanatics, Stuart tells us what this movie really should be called, and Dan… well we’re still mad at Dan for NOT PUTTING IN THE GODDAMN SHOCKTOBER THEME.

The most wondrous time of the year, SHOCKTOBER is here! And to start us off, we watched Truth or Dare AKA Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare AKA Teens be Dyin’. Meanwhile, Elliott explains the miracle of birth, Dan explains the fear of death, and Stuart spins tales of spring break memories.