The OP’s are all back in action, celebrating the all-NEW made-up holiday of “Smallvember.” First up, the Christsploitation film “God’s Not Dead” filled with the straw-manniest straw men outside of a county fair. Meanwhile Elliott and Detective Columbo disprove the flat Earth theory, Stuart reveals a surprising knowledge of the Christian rock genre, and Dan announces a new contest!

No movie has sexualized pastry so much since American Pie, yet somehow Labor Day is even less erotic than Jason Biggs balls-deep in apple filling. Meanwhile Stuart does some brilliant voice work, Dan loves the versatility of DVDs, and Elliott regales the world with Tales of Ruck.

With audiences primed to be disappointed by a new Hercules movie in theaters, why not be like the Peaches and be disappointed by The Legend of Hercules in the comfort of your own home. Meanwhile Elliott tells us the secrets of the ancient Greek hamburger, Dan has uncanny recall for old Disney cartoons, and Stuart tells sad tales of British totty.

Producer Luc Besson and director McG made a bet about the number of tones they could cram into 3 Days to Kill, and the audience lost. Meanwhile Elliott does his classic “2000 Year-Old Killer” routine, Dan gets more inappropriately sexual than ever before, Stu introduces the concept of a “neck baby,” and TVs Jessica Williams stops by, because why the heck not?

We discuss Last Vegas, which is, of course, a documentary from the far future about the time the elderly Original Peaches and friend went to Las Vegas. Meanwhile Dan unveils his totally original, copyrighted concept, Elliott reveals how he does creep research, and Stu pulls out a letters surprise.

Yes, Elliott, it should be called I, Frankenstein’s Monster, but that doesn’t change the fact that we watched I, Frankenstein. Meanwhile Elliott reveals the secret sex fetishes of Archie Comics characters, we learn Stuart’s nicknames, and Dan asks the big metaphysical questions.

Despite being one of the more nothing movies we’ve ever watched, we somehow crap out what we believe to be our longest episode with G.I. Joe: Retaliation. It’s a living. Meanwhile, Dan and Elliott explain what “G.I. Joe” means, and develop President Ziggy, and Stuart reveals he’s an evil land developer.

We discuss Easy Rider: The Ride Back, an object lesson in why you should never let a movie’s sequel rights lapse. Meanwhile Dan explains the Flop House fan caste system, Elliott puts the “bar” in barter, and Stuart knows nothing about robots.