If there’s one thing we’ve learned in all our years of discussing bad movies, it’s that vanity projects are often the creme de la creme of bizarre and terrible cinema. And hoo doggies, do we have something special for you. Made in 2006, then shelved for nearly a decade before getting quietly dumped to streaming in 2014, writer/director/star Stuart Paul’s magnum opus, Deadly Lessons, is a fantasy self-help (?) thriller (?) that’s impossible to describe, but lord, do we try.