Will the guys who liked Speed Racer also enjoy the Wachowski sibling’s most recent critical flop, Jupiter Ascending? Meanwhile Elliott debuts his new bumper sticker, Dan boringly digresses about The Three Investigators, and Stuart explains why, when incarcerating someone, you should really take their rocket boots.

The iconic punk club is torn down yet again, in movie form.

Hoo boy does Johnny Depp certainly have a mustache in Mortdcai! Meanwhile Dan reads copy off a beer for some reason, Elliott invites George Lucas to stop by, and Stuart recommends a surprising film.

In the words of Homer Simpson, we’ve got a hankerin’ for some spankerin’, as we discuss 50 Shades of Grey. Meanwhile Stuart delivers a eulogy for the rappin’ granny, Elliott explains the laziness of British elocution, Dan reveals a porn tale from his past, and we include perhaps our best outtakes ever.

We’ve seen him 3D, but are we ready for Dracula: Untold? Meanwhile Stuart demonstrates his innovative mixology, and Elliot and Dan reveal the surprising Dracula-centric details of the Mad Men finale.

It’s the moment that the bad movie cognoscenti have been waiting for, as we discuss The Boy Next Door. Meanwhile, Stuart explains the “character” he plays, Dan becomes a proponent of the female gaze, and Elliott describes some of the lesser-known sexually explicit Disney cartoons of the 60’s.

We return to the “romantic fantasy” genre that served us so well (?) with Upside Down as we discuss the Colin Farrell vehicle, Winter’s Tale. Meanwhile, Dan explains Aerosmith’s magic powers, Elliott implores a horse to help him make his booty call, and Stuart wonders whether he was the one in Spaceballs.

Turns out that being Christopher Nolan’s cinematographer is not the same thing as being Christopher Nolan, as we found out when we endured Transcendence. Meanwhile Elliott explains Dan’s unusual way of reading, Stuart has a Transmorphers flashback, and Dan sings…